Monday, September 19, 2011

Blog 5

Been a hot minute. Been fighting with my parents nonstop for 3 weeks. Between them downing my education (and how I don't have a job that matches it), downing my parenting skills (and how they did better but wonder why I turned into a "terrible" parent), and how being fat is the reason I am not married/dating seriously/ wanted by men I am about 2 seconds from going Lizzie on them.

I am fat because I am depressed. I am depressed because I am unhappy. The only thing that makes me happy is my son and that isnt enough. I should be happy to see my parents not livid that I can't escape them. I am a good mom but I raise my son different. Not bad just different. We have a routine and it is to be stuck to. When I say no I expect it to be upheld not for my mom to just wait till I am out of the room and then give him or by him whatever he wants. BS

I need a job that matches my education. I need my own place or at least one without my parents. I agreed to let them have the house but that doesn't mean they can treat me like a smelly piece of garbage. And as far as a man goes... I'll get one when I want. I want a man. I don't need one.


no where near where I want to be.....

Friday, August 26, 2011

Blog 4

Holy balls!!!!!! School has jacked me up something fierce. At least I am back under the "Holy crap I'm getting fat" mark.

I also suck at keeping up with a blog.

And my son is amazing.


49.3 lbs to go

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Blog 3

Wow. I suck at blogging. Okay so... I weighed myself today and am ashamed at myself. Nothing. Not a single pound in one month. Made a new and more realistic workout plan. Still need a buddy but no luck yet. Back in a few lbs!

Suggestions on ANYTHING that has helped would be amazing. Steady sex has been the only thing so far that has kept the weight off but since I have not had a steady boyfriend (or anyone worth sleeping with for that matter) in a long time (longer than I will say out loud lol) I will need a Plan B.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Blog 2

Well... Fridge purged. Check. Excersise plan. Check. New jeans so I remember why I do this. Check. Bathing suit pics in the panty, fridge, feezer, and anywhere else there are tasty treats. Check. Weight lost. Um..... no. I have lost 2 pounds in a week. SAD FACE!!!!! Oh. well. Still two pounds. Need a workout buddy. Sucks doing it alone. However, I go walking late at night. There is an older lady who goes around the same time. MAKE FRIENDS TIME!!!! Just hope she doesnt pepper spray me....

Weight : 198.3

64 and some change to go.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Blog One

For those of you who know me, I have been chubby my whole life except for one year. I was a chubby baby. Chubby toddler. Chubby teen. Chubby adult. Due to a swift kick in the ass and a want to change my life I slimmed down from 315 to 130 in a year. I was raped and packed on 100 pounds in less than 6 months. I trimmed down to 140 then moved in with my former roommate and bulked up to 200 due to depression and general unhappiness. That being said, I'm done. I'm done being fat. Done letting other people bring me down and overall done with this. I went to Real Life Health and Fitness in Sandy, Utah for a bit and had the most amazing journey of my life. I lost weight. Made amazing friends. Most of all I saw who I wanted to be. I took a picture of myself this morning in my undies. Time to like what I see!!!

Starting weight : 201.89 Sad Face

Goal : 135

Amount to go : Le sigh.... I can't count that high.... 65.11 lbs